Birthdays

I can not believe my baby is turning two. Not that two years is any shorter than it use to be, it is just that the past two years have been so full of events and some complications that I have somehow got lost in it, therefore it’s kind of sneaking up on me.

I have understood since my firstborn’s first birthday, how fast time goes with a baby, how fast they actually do go, and how you should spend each and every moment possible watching your child grow and develop, but somehow I still manage to be surprised at how much forget about their babyhood, how little time I seem to have to watch them grow and how sad I am when their birthdays get here, faster every year.

This year we hit a few milestones with each of my kids. With Madalyn she turned ten years old on the 8th making me a mom for a decade, giving her “double digits” or as Aden said “two whole hands” she is also going from a child into a “tween, the not a pre-teen not a teen, but somewhere in between, it’s hard for me to let go, and I am seeing as she is pulling away I am holding on tighter. The independence she wants also comes with more responsibility, that is the part she is not wanting, but as I have tried to tell her it is a package deal, you can’t have one with out the other, so for now we are at a stand still.

So much has happened with Landon in the past two years it amazes me he has came through all his battles a healthy, smiling, running, jumping, sometimes aggravating, but always wonderful little boy. Wile the 59 days we spent in the NICU with Landon and the months of doctors appointments, clinic appointments, and sleepless days and nights will forever be apart of his life story, they are no longer in the front running of what I think about when I think of his short little life. I now think of his smiling face in the mornings and his sweet sweating head as I lay him down at night. Long gone are the images of the feeding tubes and wires, replaced by smiles and hugs. Although I am still waiting on the first “I love you Mommy” from him, I can see it every time his little face lights up whenever I walk into the room.

My middle boys have not had their birthdays yet and still they seem much more than a year older than on their last birthdays, and then we have yet another little one on the way. I know he or she will grow just as fast as the four we have did, and yet I am sure I will look back and ask myself “How did they get so big” over and over each year. This pregnancy even seems to be going by faster than I would like, I am almost 19 weeks, and because I know I will not make it to 40 weeks, and my doctor “thinks” I will make it to 30, that gives me a little over 10 maybe 15 weeks left of ever being pregnant again. Doesn’t seem possible that in that short time I will be a mom of five.

I will stop rambling now, I am sure when the baby is born and with the other two birthdays coming (September and November) I will have more “I miss my babies being baby moments”