20 Weeks

20 weeks,

Wow 20 weeks pregnant already, even though the baby is going to be early, it’s good to know that my little one is half baked now. Jason was asking last night how much longer I thought we had before the baby is born, because his mom was asking how many weeks I am. When I told her 20, he was like wow, so about 8-9 weeks left? I don’t want to think of it that way, so I told him Landon was born 11 weeks from now, and Aden 13 from now, he said yep and they keep getting earlier, so we have 9 weeks left, “ I do not think we have more than 9 weeks.” Uhh….. I already do not like to but am always thinking when will this baby be here and how early, will I be prepared, I read up on each week and how it would be for the first few years with a ___ weaker, but for him to say it is different. I really thought one of us was thinking I would go longer this time, but I guess we think a like. So in 9 weeks I will be right at 29 weeks, and wile it is earlier and the baby would weigh less than Landon and Aden did, probably between two and a half and three and a half pounds, with all my reading I have found that NICU’s tend to group preemies together by age. Under 24-26 weekers do about the same, although 26 weekers do have better odds, 27-31 weekers are grouped together, and 32-34 are together, 35-37 are almost term and can normally stay in the well baby nursery or with mom and go home in a few days with mom too. So what does it mean that they are “grouped” together, not much really, just that babies born in those weeks normally do about the same follow the same course as far as treatments, breathing, feedings and their length of stay at the NICU they also have about the same number of office trips after discharge. I have had a 31 weeker already so I feel if 27, 29, and 29 weekers about the same I could handle it, even if they were a pound lighter.

19 weeks

Wow 19 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. Just about half way through cooking this turkey, wile I know I am more than likely over half way done, I don't like to think of it that way, I would really like to make it to 40 weeks, heck 38 would be great. This will however be my last time ever being pregnant and wile I don't want any more kids, just to think I will never grow another baby or feel one move frome the inside is a little sad, but I am still willing to give all that up, for one to be healthier, there is no way having a baby every 2 years for 10 years is healhy!! I don't care what doctor may say it's unhealthy, I bet there isn't one that can say it is either, I need a brake and it looks as if getting my tubes tied is the only way to get it. I had fully accepted that after Landon I was never having another baby, becasue of the C- section and the pain I had after, I never want to go through that again, and I hope I still never do, but being pregnant againg I now have to deal all over again with those feelings of never having another one, so I just want this one to last a bit longer than the last 2. With all of that said, I have just about lost all hope it will happen for a few reasons.
#1 I feel already that this kid is as low as it can go without being born.
#2 It feels like this baby weighes 10 or so pounds already (when I know it is closer to just 1 pound).
#3 I am so tired already, and this is the months you are suppose to "glow" and feel great. There has been none of that.
#4 and this one is the biggest one, I had a Contraction last night. Not a very painful one and it didn't last long, and I believe it was just the one.
Now I know some women do have contractions all through their pregnacy, without it being a big deal, and they go full term or even past, and that is great for those women, I however am not one of those women. I had my 1st contractin with Landon at 19 weeks 4 days, with Aden about 19 weeks too. With Landon I was even told it just doesn't take a whole heck of a lot to send me into labor, I do not have to have strong regular contractions and they do not have to be every so many minutes apart. The only thing I do have to have is a few and they get the ball rolling pretty fast. Last night I layed down and drank some water, to listen and feel to be sure that it was just the one, and I did't feel any thing and listening to my body I felt I was ok to go to bed, so that is what I did. I feel like crap this morning, tired and gaggie (is that even a word). So wile I am hoping for another 17-20 weeks I am not betting on getting it.

Landon's 2 year check up

His big boy check up went great. He is weighing in at 25 pounds and 2 ounces, and for the life of me I can't remember how long he is so I am going to do that in a little bit. He is doing all of the things a 2 year old should be doing, and we were given the OK to not go back to the GI clinic, they are going to send the clinic a report and we will be D-O-N-E, with them. I am super excited about that. He did get one vac. the Hep.A, they were out of it when he had his 18 monther so he got the 1st one today and then one in December, so when I take the new baby in I will take Landon with me for that. I asked about the booster for the chicken pox Vac. and was told they need it at 5 when they get the other school shots, so Madalyn and Collin can go any time and get it, Aden will get it at his 5yr check up, I think I will just take the other two with me then and get all 3 the same day, to get it over with, Jason will have to go that day.

Birthdays

I can not believe my baby is turning two. Not that two years is any shorter than it use to be, it is just that the past two years have been so full of events and some complications that I have somehow got lost in it, therefore it’s kind of sneaking up on me.

I have understood since my firstborn’s first birthday, how fast time goes with a baby, how fast they actually do go, and how you should spend each and every moment possible watching your child grow and develop, but somehow I still manage to be surprised at how much forget about their babyhood, how little time I seem to have to watch them grow and how sad I am when their birthdays get here, faster every year.

This year we hit a few milestones with each of my kids. With Madalyn she turned ten years old on the 8th making me a mom for a decade, giving her “double digits” or as Aden said “two whole hands” she is also going from a child into a “tween, the not a pre-teen not a teen, but somewhere in between, it’s hard for me to let go, and I am seeing as she is pulling away I am holding on tighter. The independence she wants also comes with more responsibility, that is the part she is not wanting, but as I have tried to tell her it is a package deal, you can’t have one with out the other, so for now we are at a stand still.

So much has happened with Landon in the past two years it amazes me he has came through all his battles a healthy, smiling, running, jumping, sometimes aggravating, but always wonderful little boy. Wile the 59 days we spent in the NICU with Landon and the months of doctors appointments, clinic appointments, and sleepless days and nights will forever be apart of his life story, they are no longer in the front running of what I think about when I think of his short little life. I now think of his smiling face in the mornings and his sweet sweating head as I lay him down at night. Long gone are the images of the feeding tubes and wires, replaced by smiles and hugs. Although I am still waiting on the first “I love you Mommy” from him, I can see it every time his little face lights up whenever I walk into the room.

My middle boys have not had their birthdays yet and still they seem much more than a year older than on their last birthdays, and then we have yet another little one on the way. I know he or she will grow just as fast as the four we have did, and yet I am sure I will look back and ask myself “How did they get so big” over and over each year. This pregnancy even seems to be going by faster than I would like, I am almost 19 weeks, and because I know I will not make it to 40 weeks, and my doctor “thinks” I will make it to 30, that gives me a little over 10 maybe 15 weeks left of ever being pregnant again. Doesn’t seem possible that in that short time I will be a mom of five.

I will stop rambling now, I am sure when the baby is born and with the other two birthdays coming (September and November) I will have more “I miss my babies being baby moments”

17 weeks

I went to the doctor today; He seemed less scared of me today, ha ha. I mean more relaxed. I got a tube of blood taken for typing and the AFP triple screen. It screens for Chromosomal irregularities like, Trisomy 18 and Downs syndrome and for Neural Tube defects. It doesn’t give a yes or no answer, it gives chances, For example it could come back you have a 1 and 25% chance of having one of the defects then you need other testing, or it comes back ( mine with Landon) 1 and 250,000% chance of a defect, well then you don’t need any other test. I will know in 2 weeks if I don’t hear anything everything is fine. My blood pressure is good at 100/78, the Baby’s heart rate was 161 bpm, and I have gained 4 pounds in the past month, and that put me back to where I was when I got pregnant. I still feel nausea sometimes, but I am gaining just fine so no need to worry about that one. I can’t hold down the prenatal vitamins he gave me so today he said to get some chewable children vitamins and a folic acid pill once a day, my kids take the children vitamins so I will just take theirs. I go back on the 6th of August for my big ultrasound and for another visit. That is the day before we leave for Disney World, so it works, I am glad to be seeing the dr. before we leave. We still have no plans on finding out what the baby is, but we do have a name picked out if the baby is a girl. We are not sure about a boys name yet. Oh and you can try and guess the Girl’s name we have picked out, but you will never guess right, and we are not telling!
I know we are so mean!!